I struggle to get close to women because of my past
DEAR DEIDRE: I struggle to get close to any woman and I can’t help but think it stems from my past.
I was the last person to see my grandad alive. He had a heart attack right in front of me when I was 14.
I am a 49-year-old man. My dad was abusive towards my mum and was always accusing her of sleeping with other men. He was completely obsessed.
It was awful sitting downstairs while he abused her upstairs. I tried to intervene, but she told me to turn the TV up.
I tried so hard to protect her and she eventually divorced him. At the time, I tried to put a brave face on it but as I’ve got older, I’ve realised this period had a big effect on me.
I feel like I am living in a cocoon. I put up a barrier whenever women get close to me and I find it very difficult to get intimate. I’ve been lonely all my adult life.
You can also send a private message on the Facebook page or email us at:
deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry you are still suffering.
Your childhood experiences will certainly have affected your sexual and emotional development and prevented you from getting close to anyone.
After such trauma, you might feel vulnerable and try to avoid emotional pain, becoming wary of any truly intimate relationship.
With the right support you can get some help and find comfort for the 14-year-old who is still hurting inside you.
My support pack How Counselling Can Help explains more.