The birth of my daughter has ruined our relationship
DEAR DEIDRE: The birth of our daughter saw my partner being so attentive that I thought our relationship would work. Now I’m not so sure.
We’d been dating for three months when I got pregnant. It wasn’t ideal as I’d recently got a new job far from my family.
When we started dating I was on the Pill but we had sex one night just after I’d been ill for a few days, so it must have failed. My partner said he’d stick with me and he moved in.
Our little girl was born and the first few weeks were wonderful. We took her out every day together and my partner told me that she strengthened our relationship.
I was overjoyed. He seemed really into me and couldn’t do enough for the baby.
But two months on and everything has changed. He’s distant and cold towards me. He won’t talk about anything to do with us and only responds if I speak about our daughter.
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I’ve called him out on us. I suggested I terminate my rental and move back to my parents’ house where all my family are nearby and can help, but he says he can’t hack the thought of his daughter being hundreds of miles away.
We are really stuck. He’s 34 and I’m 29.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You’ve hardly had any time to be a couple after being thrown into parenthood. You’re both enjoying having a child but, sleep-deprived and stressed, it’s little wonder the cracks are appearing.
A child deserves two loving parents and, if you can make a go of this, you owe it to her to try.
Contact tavistockrelationships.org (020 7380 1975), which offers an online therapy service for couples or individuals, and a Parenting Together service, which would help you.
They aim to see everyone, whatever their financial situation.