Sex with lover is so boring – he never does the one thing I really like in bed

DEAR DEIDRE: I THOUGHT men loved giving oral sex but my husband never indulges me unless I ask.

Does this mean he finds me unattractive or that he doesn’t like the look of me down below?

I’m 29 and he’s 30. Recently, I was lying in bed waiting for him to join me and hoping he might take the initiative himself.

Instead, he suggested a quickie, which left me feeling disappointed.

We mostly have two-minute sessions, where all he wants to do is climb on top and satisfy himself.

It is the most boring sex I’ve ever had.

These quickies don’t give me much pleasure and I find that I only orgasm afterwards from using my hand.

Usually I wait until he has fallen asleep and then I please myself.

When we first got together, he did try to have oral sex with me but I felt too self-conscious and would avoid it or make an excuse like I’m too tired or not in the mood.

Years have passed and I’ve realised that I would like to try it. But he seems stuck in our old ways. I want to feel desired.

I’ve given him oral sex a few times and he still hasn’t taken the hint.

It bothers me that he doesn’t give me pleasure or orgasms.

Should I start withholding sex? How do I address this?

DEIDRE SAYS: By avoiding oral sex and coming up with excuses, you gave your husband the message loud and clear that it wasn’t for you.

Everything that you’ve told me suggests neither of you is talking about your sex life, which is essential to understand each other’s needs.

You don’t need to start talking dirty to each other but it’s important to show and explain what you like.

Next time you are together simply take his hands, tell him you’d like to show him something, and move his fingers as you would like to be touched.

He’ll soon get the idea and love the intimate moment.

From here you can really start building your confidence and bring the two of you closer together.

My support packs Oral Sex and Women And Orgasm will help you both.