We ran across the country to escape my husband’s affairs – now I fear he’s cheating again
DEAR DEIDRE: We moved across the country to escape all the women my husband had cheated and had sex with.
I needed to get away from the hurtful memories and he said the fresh start was what we needed.
But within months of our big relocation, I’ve caught him flirting with our immediate neighbour and I know that if he hasn’t already started another affair - he soon will.
I’m at a complete loss and wondering if there is any hope for our relationship at all.
I’m 35, he’s 38 and we’ve been married for seven years.
The first half of our relationship felt like a dream. He always took every opportunity he could to show me how special I was to him.
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Whether it was sending me sweet text messages throughout the day, randomly buying me flowers, or arranging romantic date nights, he was the perfect husband.
Then one day everything came crashing down when I saw him cheating on me with a mutual friend.
After that incident, we managed to work through things, but it wasn’t long before I caught him texting an array of other women he was clearly involved in.
I so hoped a change of scene would change his behaviour.
However, it wasn’t long before I noticed the glances he started sharing with our female neighbour.
I gave him the benefit of the doubt at first, but then I caught him sneaking out of her front door.
I feel like such a fool. I shouldn’t have given him so many chances but I wanted to see the best in him.
I’m heartbroken.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You changed the location but your husband’s attitude remained exactly the same.
Your husband is a serial cheat and his track record proves he isn’t willing to change.
After you put so much effort into rebuilding your relationship after his last string of affairs, this latest infidelity shows he isn’t willing to reciprocate.
You need to understand this is a reflection of him, not you, so do not blame yourself for his behaviour.
Only you can decide how you want to move on from this.
If you choose to stay, please understand things will only improve if he commits to change. Couples counselling will be an essential part of this.
I’m sending you my support pack Cheating - Can You Get Over It? to help with your decision.
You can find support through Tavistock Relationships, (, 020 7380 1975).