We separated, but kept falling back into bed, now I’ve been left behind
DEAR DEIDRE: Since agreeing to take a break, my husband and I have slept together many times.
I thought we were on the verge of getting back together, but then he told me he had met another woman.
I’m 36 and he’s 37. We were married for six years.
During our marriage, we had a lot of problems, mainly financial, and argued all the time.
Last summer, we decided to take a break from our marriage. We both felt some time apart would help us decide if we wanted to make it work.
My husband went to stay with his brother and I remained in our home.
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We agreed to meet regularly to chat about things.
The second evening, we ended up in bed together, and he stayed over.
It felt like old times. The fact we were no longer living together made it even more passionate.
After that, it happened every time we met up, even though we knew it shouldn’t. We started getting on a lot better too.
I was planning to ask him if he was ready to move back in when he dropped a bombshell.
He said he’d been online dating and had met someone he liked. He wanted to give it a go and said it was time to file for divorce.
I’m devastated and feel used. How can I move on?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It appears that you and your husband got your wires crossed, leaving you very hurt.
While you believed you were on the road to getting back together, he had already started moving on.
Unfortunately, he didn’t tell you. It wasn’t fair of him to sleep with you in these circumstances, but I don’t believe he deliberately used you.
Sometimes people with unresolved feelings end up having sex.
Time and distance will help you heal. Please don’t be tempted to sleep with him again.
Seek support from family and friends and see my support pack, Mending A Broken Heart, for more advice.