My daughter won’t admit she’s self-harming so how can I help her?
DEAR DEIDRE: My daughter won’t admit she’s self-harming so how can I help her? She’s in denial and even lies to her sister about it.
She’s 22 and I noticed she had some scratches on her arm when I went to visit her at university.
She said she’d been for a walk when visiting a friend in the countryside and caught her arm on some barbed wire but the lines were too straight for that.
I was worried, but she seemed to get through her degree.
She recently went on a date with a lovely guy but when my daughter got into the car with him I saw some marks on her thighs.
I asked her about it when she got home and she said she got them from having sex.
I’m her Mum and I’m 51. I don’t believe her. Her sister is 19 and she’s talked to her about the marks but she said somebody threw something at her in a club, causing the cuts.
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DEIDRE SAYS: She’s not admitting that she needs some support but when you’re both calm and quiet, tell her that you are worried about her and if she won’t talk to you, suggest she talks to a counsellor.
The chances are, there was a trigger for her changing from a happy, out-going child into a self-harmer. People use self-harm in order to deal with emotional pain.
You can find more support through Young Minds (, (parent’s helpline, tel: 0808 802 5544).