My partner dumped me because I was feeling low and sent a rude message
DEAR DEIDRE: MY childish reaction to an unanswered text was the final straw for my partner who ended our relationship.
I am a 51-year-old man. My partner is 48. We were together for almost a year and things were going well – until I blundered.
I know my mood swings contributed to the break-up.
I’m insecure because my first wife had an affair with my best friend.
And my second wife was abusive so I had no option but to end our marriage.
When my partner didn’t immediately reply to my message asking how her day had been, I sent another one telling her not to bother answering, as she was clearly too busy. I’ll admit I behaved childishly.
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This wasn’t the first time I’d acted like this and she said she couldn’t live as though she was constantly walking on eggshells.
Why do my insecurities make me act like this and, in turn, make me moody?
I think I am probably best suited to being single from now on even though I am devastated by this break-up and miss my partner terribly.
DEIDRE SAYS: It is true that jealous insecurity like this tends to bring about just what it fears.
Your trust in love has been damaged by your past relationships and you are scared history will repeat itself.
This fear of being hurt, especially as it has happened before, is a self-defence mechanism telling you it might happen again.
You can change but it will mean reconciling yourself with the past to help you learn how to deal with your insecurities.
Find a counsellor through the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (, 01455 883 300).
My support packs How Counselling Can Help and Dealing With Jealousy will also offer guidance on how to overcome these feelings.
