An awful smell hit me like a train when I entered my brother’s house
DEAR DEIDRE: My brother’s house is so dirty, I’m worried he is going to harm himself.
He lives alone and is a terrible hoarder, but he won’t let anyone help him. I’m on the verge of reporting him to social services.
I’m his brother, aged 47, and he’s 50.
He has always been a loner and a little “odd”. He never married and gradually ostracised himself from most of the family, but he stayed in touch with me.
I have tried to visit him regularly over the years.
He has always had a problem throwing things away and tidying. But when I went round over Christmas, I was horrified. His home was piled high with rubbish – empty takeaway cartons, bottles, papers, dirt.
It smelled too, of stale urine and old food.
You couldn’t even get to the bathroom because the hall was covered in junk.
He looked unkempt and dishevelled. I don’t think he’s eating properly either.
I’m very anxious about his mental and physical health. But if I report him he’ll never forgive me. What should I do?
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DEIDRE SAYS: This is a delicate situation but you have your brother’s best interests at heart.
Try talking to him and saying you’re worried. Perhaps offer to help him tidy and suggest he sees a GP to get checked over.
Contact HoardingUK (hoardinguk.org), which supports people affected by hoarding behaviour, for advice. Also see my support pack, Overcoming Obsessions.
If he won’t listen you may have to contact social services. You’ll never forgive yourself if anything happens to him.
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