I don’t even like my husband
DEAR DEIDRE: After 25 years of standing by my horrible, racist husband, I want to leave.
He’s argumentative, mean and difficult and I’m sick of making excuses for his behaviour. I’m 53 and he’s 55. We have three grown-up kids.
When we first met, I thought he was “the one”. But he soon showed his true colours. He fell out with friends, with bosses – losing several jobs – and the neighbours.
He made me move to a city far away from family and friends and I’m now desperately unhappy and lonely.
I’ve realised I don’t like him at all. I hate the way he talks to and about people, always criticising them or saying nasty things about their appearance.
I’m sure people tar me with the same brush, which is why I’ve lost many friends. I’ve tried talking to him about this, but he never changes. But the thought of leaving him terrifies me. I feel too old to start again.
I fantasise about running away but I don’t want to upset my children.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It’s not surprising you want to leave. You’re with an unpleasant man, who clearly doesn’t want to modify his behaviour, even though it hurts you.
You’re not too old to start again. You deserve peace and happiness.
Talk to your children and explain how unhappy you are. They must know what their dad is like.
Read my support pack, Thinking Of Divorce, for practical advice. Perhaps if he realises your intentions, it will give him a wake-up call.
