My husband ignored me during threesome with another woman – I can’t forgive him
DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER talking about it for years, my husband and I agreed to turn our fantasy into reality and arranged sex with another woman.
But instead of it feeling like the ultimate turn-on, our threesome was troubling and felt more like watching a twosome.
He has apologised several times and says he was simply too drunk and got carried away. But I can’t forgive him.
I’m 34 and my husband is 36. We have been together for six years and married for four.
We have always had an adventurous sex life and, prior to this, I felt my husband fancied me as much as I did him.
I wasn’t sure about having a threesome at first but he convinced me it would be fun.
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Then we met a 32-year-old woman one night in a club.
After talking to her for a couple of hours, she agreed to visit us at home. I couldn’t believe how easy it was. She duly arrived on the night and, after a few glasses of wine, we all went upstairs.
Everything started out well, even though we were all nervous and awkward.
My husband began undressing her and then did the same with me.
Everything was going well and I was enjoying it all until he made a move on her.
He started kissing her and instantly I felt jealous.
All his attention switched to her and, when I repeatedly asked for my turn, he said he only wanted her, which he now says he didn’t mean. I wish it had never happened.
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DEIDRE SAYS: We hear so often these days that threesomes and open relationships are exciting and fun.
And sometimes it seems they can be – until they go wrong. Involving third parties in your sex life is risky and throws up all sorts of unpredictable emotions.
Please talk to your husband and tell him exactly how you’re feeling.
Explain that the reality of seeing him loving sex with a different woman made you feel left out, vulnerable and jealous.
He needs to show you how much you mean to him and that you are the only one for him.
You might want to think about relationship counselling to help you through this.
You can find support through Tavistock Relationships (020 7380 1960, tavistockrelationships.org).
