My fiancée is everything you’d want in a woman, but there’s a big problem with our sex life

But since I asked her to marry me, nine months ago, I’ve started questioning whether I can be in a virtually sexless relationship for the rest of my life.

My old friend and I reconnected via Instagram a few months ago. We met up and there was an instant spark. 

I didn’t mention that I was in a long-term relationship, and my fiancée isn’t on social media, so there was no evidence.

We ended up in bed, and it was the best sex of my life - everything it isn’t with my fiancée: passionate and naughty.

She says she can’t get enough of me. I sneak out of work to meet her.

In the meantime, my fiancée asked me to help her start planning our wedding. She’s very traditional and wants a church ceremony and big party for all our friends and family.

I do love her and so went along with it.

But as the day draws closer, I’m feeling increasingly guilty and conflicted. 

I know I should end my affair but I can’t bring myself to do it. Help please!

DEIDRE SAYS:  You already know that if you truly love your fiancée and want to marry her, you need to end your affair and sort out your sex life. 

You can’t solve the sexual issues in your relationship by sleeping with someone else.

It’s unfair to both women and will only lead to disaster. 

Sex is important to you so you need to be honest with your fiancée about your needs and see if you can find a compromise. 

Consider couples counselling and sex therapy. My support packs about Counselling and Sex Therapy tell you how to access this.

If necessary, postpone the wedding until you’re clear about your future. Ignore this and you’ll end up in a worse predicament.