We broke up, but I’m still living with my ex like nothing changed
DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though my girlfriend broke up with me, we’ve been living together like nothing has happened for months.
At this point, I’m not sure what she wants and I’m living every single day in complete limbo.
I’m 43, she’s 40 and we’ve been together for 17 years. We have two daughters together, one is nine and the other is five.
Four months ago, out of nowhere, she sat me down and told me that we were over. She never gave me any kind of explanation, and to this day refuses to answer me whenever I try to ask.
Despite splitting up she won’t discuss any moving out plans and continues to act normal around our kids, family and friends.
It’s only when we’re alone that reality sets in, but we still share a bed every night.
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I’m at a complete loss. It’s as if she’s saying one thing and doing another.
While I still love her and want nothing more than to fix this, I can’t spend the rest of my life living a lie.
Why can’t she let me go?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: No wonder you’re confused, your girlfriend’s behaviour and words are completely at odds.
While she may be trying to protect your children, in reality, she is only putting off the inevitable.
It could be that she’s confused about her feelings but it’s unfair to expect you to stick around in limbo.
Find a calm moment to talk to her. Let her know that if she doesn’t communicate with you, you’ll have to start planning your next move.
If this relationship is really over, continuing to live together will only hold you back.
Read my support packs Relationships MOT and Moving On to help you.