Jump directly to the content
Frustrated

I blame brewer’s droop but can’t solve my climax problems

DEAR DEIDRE: I’m a man who can’t reach climax when with a partner.

I’m beginning to think there’s something wrong with me.

I’m 36 and I’ve been single for a while. I get my fair share of attention and can enjoy a one-night stand, but the sex is always frustrating because I can’t reach that peak of excitement.

The women always think it’s them, but it isn’t, it’s me.

I have given up looking at pornography for over a month, to try to cure it.

But last weekend, I got together with a new woman and I still couldn’t manage it.

I told her it was down to the alcohol I’d drunk. She seemed OK with my performance but I felt a bit embarrassed I couldn’t finish.

It’s not helping my anxiety. What’s causing this?

Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team

Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.

Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.

You can also send a private message on the Facebook page or email us at:

[email protected]

DEIDRE SAYS: If you have become overly reliant on porn, this will have a huge effect on sex with a real partner.

You know how best to please yourself and a partner’s touch may feel more alien to you.

Porn is designed to hook viewers in and if this is a bigger issue than you are telling me, you’ll find support through pivotalrecovery.org.

You also sound anxious about your performance, which will block those normal and healthy sexual responses.

My support pack Find It Hard To Climax? explains more.

The best sex comes out of a genuine connection so if you can really open up to someone and start to trust them, you may see a change.

MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

Topics