Am I right to see red flags with my boyfriend’s behaviour?
DEAR DEIDRE: The chemistry I felt with my new boyfriend has slowly been replaced with numerous red flags.
Now I am worried that he is becoming controlling.
I am 34 and my boyfriend is 38. We have been together for six months after meeting online, but after a few weeks I felt pressured by him to introduce him to my two children.
Luckily this went well and they all got on.
I have two boys aged 16 and 14 and both have mental-health issues, so if one of them is not in a good place, I don’t see my partner.
He was fine about this to begin with, but now he moans. He doesn’t seem to care about their welfare or the stress I am under. It seems he only cares about himself.
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He constantly wants to know where I am, and if I tell, he turns up. The other day I was out shopping and he appeared.
If I show up as active online on WhatsApp and I don’t message him immediately he questions it.
I changed my privacy settings on my phone so it doesn’t show when I am online but within minutes of doing so, he quizzed me.
He always wants me to message him as soon as he texts. This is just adding to the stress and I am wondering if I should get out of the relationship.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: His behaviour is concerning. You have already realised that what your partner is doing is wrong, so trust your instinct.
He has to accept your children and their needs will always come first.
If you worry he is controlling, please contact Women’s Aid (womensaid.org.uk), which has a useful questionnaire identifying abusive relationships.
My support pack Abusive Partner? has more useful guidance but unless his behaviour improves radically, and fast, please walk away.