Big family picture plan involves my husband’s ex and I am not happy
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband’s daughter has a big birthday coming up soon and she wants a family photograph which would include his ex.
I am not very happy about it but don’t feel I can discuss it with him because he is having a stressful time.
His mum has recently been diagnosed with dementia and he is the only one looking after her.
He is also a delivery driver and is working really long hours. I’m 59 and my husband’s 65.
We’ve been married for 12 years and have a good relationship.
My husband’s daughter is turning 30 and has said she wants this photo to mark her big day.
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My husband’s ex was really rude about me when we first got together, so I avoid her at all costs.
I know it’s only a photo so am I being petty or do you think I am right to be unhappy about it?
DEIDRE SAYS: It is only a photograph but the fact you are unhappy suggests that deep down you are insecure.
Perhaps you see his ex as a threat to your marriage or are jealous of the bond between mother and daughter.
Don’t make this into an issue at a time when your husband has so much to cope with.
You need to accept your partner has a child and she came as part of the package when you married her dad.
My support pack Stepfamily Problems will help, together with the one on Jealousy.
