My boyfriend says he will end relationship if I don’t have phone sex
DEAR DEIDRE: ACCORDING to my boyfriend our relationship is boring.
He’s threatening to end things because he’s resentful that I won’t have phone sex any more.
We’ve been together for three years and he’s currently on a foreign posting with the military.
It’s been months since we’ve physically been together.
Unfortunately I lost my job and had to move back home with my parents.
I don’t feel comfortable having phone sex when they might hear.
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I make a big effort with him, constantly sending him pictures, videos and cards but it doesn’t seem to make a difference.
I am 38 and he is 45. We used to be amazing.
Now I just want the spark back.
I even suggested he call me late at night, although I explained I wouldn’t be able to be vocal, but that doesn’t seem to be enough for him.
I never get the house to myself, so privacy is an issue, as is the time difference.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Long-distance relationships are tricky, even more so as your partner is in a different time zone and there is no privacy at home.
Nobody should feel under pressure to do anything sexually against their will, so you are right to refuse.
It sounds like you are doing all you can to make the best of this situation, but if he is bored he needs to come up with some ideas you are willing to try rather than criticise.