My girlfriend won’t block her fragile ex because she says he won’t cope
DEAR DEIDRE: BLOCKING her ex is inconceivable for my girlfriend as she is so scared he will do something silly and then she’d never forgive herself.
I am 42 and my girlfriend is 39. We have been together for almost a year.
She is an amazing person and I can see myself spending the rest of my days with her.
My worry though is that her ex, who has tried repeatedly to get her into trouble with the law since they split up – claiming she has stolen money from his house – continues to try to contact her.
My girlfriend never replies which is a good thing but I have tried to explain that by not blocking him, she is giving him false hope.
He is apparently emotionally fragile and has a drug problem.
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She says that she doesn’t want to trigger him by blocking his number.
It really brings her down whenever he messages her, like she has a big black cloud over her.
She tells me she loves me and I do love her with all my heart, but I feel her ex is still controlling her and she will never be free of him.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your girlfriend’s ex is an adult, in charge of his own life. She is not responsible for his actions.
She must not give in to him. He is manipulating her.
If he is thinking of taking his life, the reasons for that go back long before your girlfriend.
She must not let herself be trapped in this way.
If her ex is feeling so low or thinking of killing himself as your girlfriend suspects, he should get in touch with (116 123), available round the clock.
If she isn’t ready to block him, would she consider muting him, so that at least she wouldn’t see or hear his messages?
If she can’t do this, then perhaps you will have no choice but to walk away.
