My husband has been sending money and sexual messages to women he met online
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband has been sending hundreds, if not thousands, of pounds to a series of women he has been exchanging sexual messages with online.
We’re both 48 and have been married for 22 years.
Rather than admit he’d been sexting these women, he just claims he has been scammed out of the money.
I might have believed him but, rather than go to the police, he’s set up a separate bank account so I can no longer see how much money he’s throwing away.
He shows no remorse and I’m sure he’s continuing to message these women.
I’m devastated and don’t know what to do.
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I knew something was up last summer when he decided to stay at home with our dogs while I went away with our family.
During the time I was away, I saw that he had withdrawn £500 in just four days.
When I asked him what he’d bought with the money, he said he needed to sort some DIY, and had also gone down the pub a couple of times.
But that night I had a look on our computer and saw all these seedy messages from women I’d never even met.
Even when confronted with the evidence he’s gone into denial mode about all this.
I don’t see how I can break through if he’s not even willing to tell me the truth.
We’ve spoken about going and seeing a counsellor.
But despite initially agreeing to do this, my husband is now stalling.
What can I do next? I don’t know what to do any more.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: There may be an element of truth in what your husband is saying.
We hear regularly from people who start online affairs only to be blackmailed for huge amounts of money.
He may be terrified that whoever he has been messaging is about to humiliate him.