I’m being bullied by my neighbours
DEAR DEIDRE: My neighbours are bullying me. They call me names like “weirdo” and deliberately leave rubbish in my garden.
I have no self-confidence and people have always told me I should be more assertive. I feel lonely and depressed.
I’m a 45-year-old single man, in a menial job. Other jobs haven’t worked out because of office politics.
My childhood was miserable. My mum put me down and was abusive.
I was always alone in the playground. I was too socially anxious to date and I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 32.
Since then, I’ve had a few lovers but no long-term partners. People have always walked all over me.
The neighbours in my street seemed friendly at first, but then I found out they were talking about me behind my back, saying I was odd, a loner and a nutter.
One person even left dog mess on my doorstep.
Life feels so pointless and unless I can change, I can’t see it getting any better.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Asserting yourself is hard when you don’t have confidence, and when people have always treated you poorly – even your own mother. You start to expect it.
Now you’re depressed, it’s become a vicious circle.
It would be very helpful for you to talk to a professional counsellor about your feelings, so you can get to the root of things.
My support pack about Counselling explains more.
Cognitive behavioural therapy would be particularly useful, as it teaches you to change your thinking patterns.
My Self-esteem support pack should also help you.
