DEAR DEIDRE
I’m worried my fetish will send my new girlfriend running
DEAR DEIDRE: My ex dumped me because of my fetish so I’m nervous about asking my new girlfriend to give it a go.
But I’m longing to try out naked wrestling with her.
My girlfriend is 24 and she’s very pretty. I’ve only been open with a handful of partners about my naked wrestling fetish, though, and my last girlfriend refused to try it at all.
When I tried to persuade her to give it a go she dumped me right there and then, saying I was a weirdo.
I’m pretty sure my fetish comes from play-fighting with my cousins in our swimming trunks and costumes when we were kids.
Even at that young age I knew I should hide my excitement.
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I’m 27 and also get hugely aroused by finding out about a partner’s sexual past.
My girlfriend was initially quite shy about these details but when she saw that, rather than get jealous I instead became really horny, she became more willing to share her exploits.
Now I know she’s had five boyfriends and she’s had sex with all of them. I go to the same gym as her most recent ex.
They did it first in his car and she told me they once had sex in her parents’ conservatory while the neighbour was out cutting his hedge.
She was scared he’d look over and see them but this added to the excitement.
I think about her with this ex when I’m alone and when we are having sex. I can picture her under his firm body.
I’ve had a few girlfriends and some have become fed up with all my sexual questions.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: We all have a past – you cannot change that. The play-fighting is no different from any other type of fetish.
In the moment, you’re back to your sexual awakening as a young boy but it doesn’t mean that everyone will feel aroused as you do.
If you are physically stronger than your partners, and you hold them down, they could feel abused or violated so it’s important to agree what you’re going to do first and have a boundary – and a safe word you can use if things go too far.
It may be better for the longevity of this relationship to find something which you both can enjoy sexually.
My support packs, Fetish Worries and 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex, will give you some ideas.
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