My mum taunts me for being overweight and makes me feel worthless

DEAR DEIDRE: MY mum makes me feel that I’m a disappointment because I am very overweight.

She has told me on numerous occasions over the years that she wishes I’d lose my “excess baggage”.

How could she be so cruel and uncaring?

My mum’s a hurtful, judgemental perfectionist who wants everything done in a particular way.

I’m a 48-year-old single woman. My mum’s 81 and I moved back home when my relationship failed.

My mum has always been slim.

Ever since I was a little girl she’d tell me to “eat less, move more” and even to “have more self-respect”.

I am adopted so I don’t have the same build as her.

She can’t do as much as she used to so I now help with the shopping, cooking and chores.

I feel like a dogsbody and she doesn’t seem to care that this is taking its toll on my health.

All I want is for her to accept me. What can I do to make her love me for who I am?

DEIDRE SAYS: This isn’t your fault and you don’t deserve her comments.

Your mum is a critical parent who is used to being in control.

Next time she puts you down, try calmly telling her that you are doing your best and would like to do things your way, then change the subject.

If she continues, walk out of the room.

She will soon get the message that her behaviour is unacceptable. My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, will help you to talk to her.