My sex nightmare about girlfriend sleeping with her pal in our bed became a reality
DEAR DEIDRE: An awful nightmare where my girlfriend had sex with one of her male friends in our bed has come true and I am devastated.
We’ve been together for two years. I’m 27 and she’s 26.
A few months ago, our relationship started going south. My girlfriend was never in the mood for sex - always too tired.
She was working late a lot and going out a lot with her work friends, including one particular male colleague.
I admit I did feel a bit uncomfortable around him, and jealous. He’s conventionally good looking and super confident - unlike me.
Around that time, I started to have regular sexy dreams.
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Most of them were pleasant - like wet dreams - about my girlfriend or fit celebrities.
But one night, I had a dream in which I was forced to watch my girlfriend have sex with her handsome male colleague - in our bed.
He was grinning at me throughout, and I could tell she was loving it.
It felt so real when I woke up that I had to tell her.
She burst out laughing, saying she didn’t fancy him and I must have a warped brain.
But a couple weeks after that, she left her phone on the table while she went to the loo, and a message came through from him.
It referenced a hook up and said he couldn’t wait to be alone with her again.
I felt sick. When I confronted her, she admitted they’d had sex a few times and once in our bed, but it meant nothing.
I feel betrayed and angry with her, not just for lying but also for mocking me when I told her about my dream.
She wants to try again but I don’t think I can trust her.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Dreams aren’t literal but sometimes we are subconsciously aware of things which we may block out of our conscious minds.
On some level you probably suspected your girlfriend and this guy had feelings for each other.
Add to this her lack of interest in sex with you, and your sexual frustration, and your unconscious dreaming brain just put two and two together.
She has lied to you. But she might not have mocked you.
Nerves and the shock of being caught out can make people react inappropriately.
But without trust, your relationship won’t work.
See my support pack, Cheating, Can You Get Over It?, to help you decide whether you want to break up.
