How can I protect my mum from my alcoholic dad?
DEAR DEIDRE: HOW can I protect my mum from my alcoholic dad?
There isn’t a day that passes where he doesn’t make her cry and I’m at a loss of what to do to help.
I can’t stand seeing her like this, but no matter what, my dad refuses to put the bottle down.
He’s 63, she’s 60 and I’m their 32-year-old son.
For most of my life, my dad has had a drink problem but recently things have got out of control.
Every day my mum is on the phone in tears after he’s spoken to her like dirt.
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She spends all of her time clearing up after him and caring for him when he drinks himself into oblivion.
Every time I visit it breaks my heart to see what she has to put up with.
To make matters worse just a few months ago we caught him cheating on her, but he still refuses to admit to it, or even apologise.
I can’t remember the last time I saw him sober and he’s in complete denial, refusing to get any help for his problem.
All I want is to see my mum smile again but it feels like an impossible task.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Unfortunately the only person who can make a change and stop his drinking is himself.
He needs to get help to cure his addiction and if he is unwilling to do this then things will never get better.
Try to catch him in a more sober state and tell him you are worried about him – and worried about your mother.
It’s unfair that your mum is having to constantly deal with this. If he still refuses to help himself, then as hard as it is, she may need to consider leaving for the sake of her own mental health.
My support pack Dealing With A Problem Drinker should help. You can also contact , which supports families of people who have alcohol issues.