Will an open relationship reignite the spark between me and my partner?
DEAR DEIDRE: After I discovered that he had been flirting with another guy, I suggested an open relationship to my partner.
I am a 32-year-old man and he is 33. We have been together for three years.
What makes the situation worse is that this other guy is engaged.
I don’t want to lose my partner so I have suggested an open relationship but now I’m having second thoughts. I am in a predicament.
If I back down, this other man wins. I wish he would just leave my partner alone but it is wishful thinking.
My partner claims the reason he has been talking to someone else is because I haven’t been showing him much love and affection recently.
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But I don’t think this is a good enough excuse. Is there anything else I can do?
In my heart, having an open relationship is the last thing I want.
But there are three people in our relationship right now, so what choice do I have?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Only explore being in an open relationship if it is something you are genuinely interested in.
It won’t be a good experience for you if you are in any way uncomfortable with the idea of your partner being with someone else.
For it to work, you both need to be secure in your relationship, be good communicators and be able to completely trust each other.
Your partner claims his needs are not being met by you. So if you really want to make your relationship stronger, that is where you need to focus your efforts.
He said you haven’t been showing him much love and affection. Rather than brush that away, address the issues together.
My support pack Relationship MOT should help you with this.
