I came clean about age gap lie and our relationship ended soon after – it was the right thing to do
DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS in an exciting new relationship with a gorgeous man but couldn’t enjoy our developing romance.
He was 25 and I was 43, but he thought I was much younger.
We’d been together for three months and he started to get serious.
I really liked him but I felt uneasy because I had been lying to him about my age, I told him I was 36.
We’d met at a client’s wedding.
I was invited as a thank you for doing all the hair and make-up.
It was a great day and I’d been chatting to him for most of the time.
He was so good-looking and fun, I felt really flattered when he asked me out.
I’d had a few drinks and I thought: “Why not!”
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We’ve been seeing each other regularly since.
Our sex life is stunning.
But we’re not just about the bedroom.
He told me he wanted me to have his children and grow old with him.
But still I couldn’t face coming clean and telling him I’m really in my mid-40s.
I knew I would lose him if I told him the truth.
When I wrote to you, you firmly told me that if I didn’t tell him the truth soon, the age gap wouldn’t be the problem, but the deception would.
You told me that age gaps can work but only when there is honesty.
I took a deep breath one evening and admitted my true age.
He was shocked but insisted he didn’t care about my age.
We carried on dating for another month but when I explained that I really didn’t want children we decided to go our separate ways.
We are still friends and I’m so pleased you persuaded me to come clean.
It wouldn’t have been fair to lead him on any longer and he’d only have ended up resenting me.
READ MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You did the right thing and as it turns out, your age was never an issue.
But for an age-gap relationship to work it’s crucial both people are at the same life stage.
As sad as you felt about the end of your relationship, at least you are both free now to find someone who is looking for the same things as you.
