You rescued me from porn addiction and failing erections and saved my sex life
DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS about to embark on desperate measures to try and rescue my sex life, but emailed you first.
Thankfully disaster was averted and my love life is now back on track.
At 53 I knew my hormone levels would be dipping and that a lower libido was normal but I was completely gutted when I failed to get an erection at all with my partner.
We have been together for more than 20 years and always had the best sex life — fun and adventurous.
So when, soon after my 50th birthday, we went away for the weekend, I was devastated when I couldn’t pleasure her as I normally would.
She is 49 and told me not to worry but I knew she was as disappointed.
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Determined to overcome the problem, I got hold of some Viagra over the internet.
I did manage a better erection but was left with a crippling headache, plus my partner and I hated the disappearance of spontaneous fun.
So as a porn devotee I started talking to my girlfriend about trying a threesome.
She wasn’t keen at all and felt upset that I didn’t fancy her enough — which simply wasn’t true.
But I was really desperate to kickstart things in the bedroom again so I kept working on persuading her.
My rationale was that I could always get an erection while watching a threesome on the screen so one in real life would achieve the same result.
Finally I convinced my girlfriend to try it once for me.
Then she suggested I email you for your perspective.
You explained as I was able to achieve an erection while watching porn, the issue was most likely psychological.
You explained that I may have become over reliant on my own touch and numbed to real-life sex.
You also explained that using Viagra can mask other issues and recommended I get checked over by my doctor.
The doctor assured me there was nothing wrong physically and I read your support pack Solving Erection Problems and Porn Worries.
I went “cold turkey” when it came to my daily porn habit and am very happy to say my girlfriend and I have just returned from a weekend away where we had plenty of great sex.
We are back on track, so thank you.
READ MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so pleased I was able to help you and your partner regain your loving relationship.
We know sex works wonders for mental health and is crucial to bring a couple together.
Online pornography is designed to draw you in to viewing increasingly extreme content and it’s a little like adding more and more chilli to your food each time you eat, until the point where your taste buds are completely desensitised.
This is most like what happened to you when it came to intimacy with your girlfriend.
