Should I encourage wife’s golf coach to offer her fun and foreplay?

DEAR DEIDRE: I am sorely tempted to encourage my wife’s golf teacher to start having sex with her – because I can’t.

For years I’ve been unable to satisfy her and I know it’s getting her down.

All I want is to give her what she wants, even if it means that it comes from someone else.

My wife is 39, I’m 58 and we’ve been married for six years.

We fell in love when she worked for me at my garden centre as our customer support manager.

The customers loved her and she did so much for the business - she was so engaging and lovely.

I realised I loved her too. I invited her out and despite the age difference, we quickly became an item. I left my wife for her.

The first few years of our relationship were a whirlwind and we struggled to keep our hands off of each other.

We were having sex as many as five to six times a week.

Then over time, things started to slow down, and while the love between us never faded, my sex drive did.

Now I’ve virtually lost my desire for romps completely and I worry constantly that I don’t satisfy her, although she doesn’t complain.

I’ve played golf for a long time and encouraged my wife to take it up also.

So a golf pro has been giving her regular lessons. He’s in his forties.

I took him for a beer after my lesson recently and asked him how my wife was getting along with her sessions.

He had a glint in his eye when he said she was his star pupil.

Man to man, I know what he was saying. He’s since suggested that he would like to get close to her.

If I don’t have a problem with them getting together and nothing more will come of them meeting other than sex, is that so wrong?

DEIDRE SAYS: Firstly, an open marriage does work for some people but you must accept you are taking a big risk.

Does your wife complain that you don’t satisfy her or is that your perception?

Talk to her about it. You don’t need to bring in a third party.

There are plenty of other ways to enjoy intimacy without having intercourse, as my support packs How To Satisfy A Woman (or Man) In Bed explain.

You’re still young enough to enjoy an active sex life so if there’s been a change in you physically, do check with your doctor that there’s no underlying reason for this.