I can’t contain my jealousy when it comes to my girlfriend and her male friends
DEAR DEIDRE: No matter how hard I try I can’t contain my jealousy when it comes to my girlfriend and her male friends.
I know I should have more faith in her but knowing that she’s previously slept with some of them puts me on edge.
I’m 32, she’s 29 and we’ve been together for two years.
While she’s always had a lot of male friends it wasn’t until recently that I found out the history behind some of them.
Ever since my jealousy has been on overdrive and I can’t stop myself from over-analysing every interaction they have.
While she’s always insisted that it’s merely platonic, it’s become obvious to me how flirtatious she is with them and it’s really getting to me.
It doesn’t help that I’ve been cheated on in my previous relationships and that I’m worried that history will repeat itself.
I want so badly to trust her, but now I’m worried I never will.
The last thing I want is to be a controlling boyfriend, but it’s really starting to make me feel insecure.
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DEIDRE SAYS: While you can’t stop her from being friends with these men, you can be honest with her about how you feel.
Instead of festering and allowing yourself to be consumed with feelings of jealousy, have an open and honest conversation with her about your feelings.
Give her the opportunity to reassure you and perhaps you both can decide on some boundaries together to make you feel more comfortable.
My support packs Dealing With Jealousy and Looking After Your Relationship will help.
