DEAR DEIDRE
My husband has a ‘work bag’ of condoms, whips and handcuffs and denies he’s having an affair
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband is either having an affair or working as a male escort, and after finding condoms, fluffy handcuffs and a whip in his “work” bag I have all the evidence I need.
But he denies he’s been getting sex elsewhere.
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For the past year he has been working as a mobile masseuse, on top of his day job, because we are desperate for money.
I am on maternity leave after having our first baby seven months ago. He is a sports massage therapist and says he’s working two nights a week.
I am 35 and my husband is 37. We have been married for 11 years.
When I confronted him over the things I had found, he calmly explained he used the bag a couple of years ago, when we went away for our wedding anniversary.
I can’t remember if he did take this bag but we certainly didn’t use those racy items and he didn’t even mention them.
We were using condoms as birth control until we started trying for a baby, but I always bought them and stored them in my bedside drawer.
He never had any good reason to buy some. After finding the ones in his bag, which were a different brand to the ones I always bought, my husband said the rest of the box was in a cupboard in the garage.
He said he’d forgotten about them but it simply doesn’t add up.
I don’t understand why you would take a few out of a box to put in your bag and not bring the whole box into the house.
I can’t sleep at night because I keep running through everything in my mind, trying to find the answers. I’m exhausted and paranoid.
I don’t know whether to trust his excuses or accept that he has been unfaithful or intends to be.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It does all sound pretty suspicious but it is important you don’t jump to conclusions too hastily.
He’s given you an explanation and perhaps your own insecurities are making it difficult for you to be convinced.
You’re not going to be able to simply forget about this, so you do need to talk to him again.
Let him know you still have outstanding questions.
His further explanation will either convince you – or not – but keep an open mind till then. My support pack Your Man Cheating On You? will help.
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