I supported my best friend through her grief and this is how she thanks me…
DEAR DEIDRE: I’M utterly heartbroken after catching my husband having sex with my best friend.
I’d gone above and beyond to help her after she lost her husband, and this is how she thanked me.
I can’t believe they would do this to me and I’m not sure if there’s any coming back from it.
I’m 40, my husband is 45 and we’ve been married for ten years. We have two young daughters together.
My best friend is 39 and we’ve been pals since we met at uni.
I felt so awful for her when she lost her husband to cancer that I did everything in my power to support her, including letting her stay with us until she got back on her feet.
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At the time I thought this was a great idea. I figured it would be good for her to be around people who cared about her.
I started to notice how close she and my husband had become but naively assumed it was because of the time we were all spending together.
Then one day when I arrived home early I discovered them entangled on the settee having sex. I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces.
Both of them scrambled around, trying to explain themselves.
They begged for forgiveness and promised me it would never happen again, but the damage had been done.
I made them both leave while I tried to get my head around this grim discovery, but months on I’m still struggling.
I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to move past this.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You’ve been betrayed by two of the closest people in your life and it must particularly hurt that your friend who you have supported all the way has repaid you with this deception.
While figuring out where to go from here won’t be easy, it’s important you take time to decide if trust can be rebuilt.
Without trust, no relationship or friendship can work.
If you decide you want to work on your marriage, you will need to be really honest with your husband and tell him exactly how you feel. And he needs to explain why he has been so disloyal.
Read my support pack Cheating, Can You Get Over It? to help.
You can also find support through (020 7380 1960), which offers affordable counselling either online or in person.
There is no excuse for your friend’s behaviour, although it’s possible that in her grief she made out-of-character decisions.
