My partner prefers her sex toys to me and I feel totally left out
DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN we go to bed my partner always uses her sex toys – while I lie next to her waiting for her to finish.
Afterwards she just turns around like nothing has happened.
I feel as though I don’t exist.
I’m 37 and she is 34. We have been together nearly six years and have been happy for most of that time.
She uses these toys to pleasure herself several times a week.
They weren’t a problem at first, as we had regular sex and she would only use them occasionally.
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But now we hardly have sex – the last time was six months ago, and I actually feel pretty jealous.
At my age I should still be having an active sex life.
Sometimes she doesn’t even want me to kiss or cuddle her.
Can you suggest anything to help?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Please don’t lie there simmering. Before you go to bed, tell her how upset you feel and you miss being close to her.
Ask her to involve you with the fun. As you know, you can build sex toys into a satisfying sex life together.
Talk to her and then listen to her side of the problem. Ask her to show you what she likes and tell you what she wants you to do. Talking can be a huge turn-on.
See my support packs Sex Toys And Sense and Thrilling A Woman In Bed.
Explore what suits her and also think about what you want. If she enjoys sex, she will want more of it.
