Mum puts my brother and his family first at Christmas and I am fed up
DEAR DEIDRE: MUM keeps putting my brother and his family first on Christmas Day and after six years of my own children missing out, I’m fed up.
My older brother loves going to my parents every year as he can sit on his bum all day while they run around after him and his family.
Meanwhile, I am left juggling my in-laws and my young children’s nap times, at my house.
I love my parents but I’m fed up with playing second fiddle and my two children are missing out on memories.
I am 36 and my brother is 38.
I keep asking them to come to our house for Christmas day so I could host everyone . . . my in-laws, my parents and of course my family.
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But this year, yet again, Mum informed me she had planned another year at hers.
Her reasoning is that my youngest can have a nap at hers and then she can see both me and my brother.
But she knows this is too difficult for me as my in-laws will expect to see us.
So again, I’m not happy. I will attend Christmas this year but will be leaving early to cook dinner at home and put the little one down for a sleep. What do I do?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: There are big issues regarding this time of year in your family.
You are understandably frustrated and upset that your family will once again not have the Christmas you would like.
It is supposed to be a happy time but can often cause friction among families.
Understandably, your parents are stuck in the middle and don’t want to upset anyone.
Try to get through the festive time and enjoy it as best as you can.
Once it is over, try to work on the issues with your family so next Christmas will hopefully be better.
Perhaps if you offer to also host your brother and his family, that would enable your parents to enjoy the day with you?
Remember it’s only one day and your children’s enjoyment is the most important thing.
The charity Family Lives () will be able to help you with this.
