I fear my granddaughter is disappearing from my life – she barely visits
DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my daughter died my world fell apart, but my granddaughter was such a comfort and really helped give me purpose.
She made the loss that little bit easier to cope with, and I was grateful we had each other to lean on.
But two years on, I feel she’s disappearing out of my life and I can’t understand what I’ve done wrong.
I’m her 65-year-old grandad, she is 17, and we’ve always had a close relationship.
After losing my daughter to cancer things were really tough.
Truthfully, without my granddaughter, I don’t know where I would be.
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We used to speak daily and see each other a few times a week, but she’s started to call less. I’ve tried everything to stay connected with her but it feels like she’s pulling away.
She barely ever visits and when she does it’s as if she’s leaving as quickly as she arrived.
The last thing I want is to be overbearing, but I’m worried sick that I’m losing her too.
READ MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Two years is still fairly recent and you will both be adjusting to life without your daughter.
Everyone experiences grief differently and there is no specific timetable or timeline.
Feeling disconnected and distant from others can be a normal part of the process so it’s possible your granddaughter is pulling away because of this.
I’m sure she will come around, but in the meantime just keep reassuring her how much you care.
It is completely normal for teenagers to withdraw from their families and she is at an age when her friendships will be her priority. Don’t worry, this will adjust in time.
You can find emotional support through grandparentsapart.co.uk, a charity helping grandparents keep in touch with their grandchildren.
Also, my support pack Bereavement shows both of you where to get more support.
