My pub landlord husband is more interested in pulling women than pulling pints

I am 35 and my husband is 37. We have been together for 12 years, married for the last two.

Opening a pub was our dream but since we got it, just after we wed, I’m starting to regret the move.

It’s long hours, he drinks way too much and we are hardly ever together.

He has also gone off having sex with me all of a sudden, and can hardly be bothered to have a conversation with me.

I always ask him how his day has been and he just says something like, “Same old, same old”.

He never asks how it’s been in the kitchen and is constantly distracted.

I’ve wondered about this other woman for a while, but didn’t realise it had become so brazen.

I’ve picked up on people whispering and have spotted furtive nudges aimed at my husband and this woman, but wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.

After what I heard yesterday, though, I’m now questioning their relationship more than ever.

Am I being paranoid? Should I forget the rumours? Or should I confront him about it?

DEIDRE SAYS: You’re not being paranoid. His behaviour is suspicious. It isn’t surprising you have doubts about him.

But don’t jump to conclusions. An emotional affair can cause as much pain as a sexual one but talking to him is the only way you’ll find out the truth.

Whatever his answer, you need to be clear that his sexualised behaviour with this woman is completely inappropriate and disrespectful to your relationship.

The flirting needs to stop immediately, at the very minimum.

Tell him you’re feeling anxious about the change in your sex life and ask him to be honest. My support pack Your Man Cheating On You? will help.