I thought swinging was a great idea until the sad reality set in…
DEAR DEIDRE: MOST of my mates would swap places with me in a heartbeat, but a night of swinging has threatened to wreck my marriage.
I’m 33 and my wife is 31. I’m a kitchen installer and my wife is a tattoo artist.
Our sex life had taken a dip and she mentioned this to her female workmate.
This colleague is single, 35, and plays around with lots of guys. She said she knew the perfect aphrodisiac — a swingers’ club.
My wife was intrigued and persuaded me to try it, to “spice things up”. Nevertheless, we were both really nervous and downed a few drinks before going there.
The drink definitely helped and we started chatting to other couples, dancing and flirting a little.
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Soon enough, a good-looking guy approached my wife and asked her to dance, with his partner joining in.
They looked of a similar age to us. She started stroking my wife’s back and beckoning me to join them.
They knew what they were doing and invited us into a quiet room where we all got down to business.
It got pretty heated and my wife had sex with the man while the woman came on to me.
I enjoyed the experience and felt flattered, but never want to see my wife in that situation again. I felt so jealous.
She was always so special because she was all mine. I don’t see her like that any more. I can’t shake off the feeling that the magic has gone.
She wants to go back to the club but I don’t. Please help.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Even the strongest of couples can experience a dip in their sex life at times.
Some try opening up their relationship but this can be damaging if you haven’t anticipated and addressed the potential pitfalls.
Fantasy and reality are rarely the same and when it comes to open marriages, agreeing on the boundaries is key.
You felt jealous seeing men wanting your wife and taking over your role.
She enjoyed feeling desired – but is that something you can instigate?
When did you last send her a sexy text or tell her how you’d like to rip off her clothes?
Talk to her about your feelings that night, and suggest reading my support pack 50 Ways To Bring Fun Back Into Sex, which has ideas on boosting your connection in the bedroom without the risk of involving third parties.