My work colleague is pregnant and asks me for massages – I’m uncomfortable
DEAR DEIDRE: MY colleague keeps asking me for neck and back massages at work.
She is pregnant and I know she feels uncomfortable a lot of the time.
But I don’t know if she’s joking or means it.
I’m 25 and my colleague is 30. We have worked together for just over a year and get on well.
She has a long-term partner and talks about him and their plans for the baby and house they are doing up.
It’s impossible to tell if she likes me and is feeling horny or if she just loves massages.
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I don’t want to fall out with her but, when she asks, I usually make an excuse.
She must know how awkward I feel because sometimes I go red in the face with embarrassment.
I really don’t know what I should do.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m not sure there are many men who would be up for massaging a heavily pregnant work colleague.
Don’t feel you need to give in to her requests and, whether she likes you or not, let her know you’d rather maintain a professional boundary.
My support pack Standing Up For Yourself will help you get the message across that there will be no physical touching between you.
It is possible to explain clearly without being hurtful.
If she persists, you may want to discuss it with your supervisor or HR.
They can guide you on how to handle this appropriately.