My saucy affair unlocked a part of me I never knew existed…
DEAR DEIDRE: DESPITE being in a loving relationship, I’ve had an affair with an older woman and now I fantasise about sex with other men.
Why isn’t my partner enough for me? I feel so confused.
We have been together for five years and have a young son. I’m 30, she’s 28.
She’s kind, a great mother and we have plenty in common. Our sex life is fine, if not amazing.
But I don’t seem to be able to stop my eyes, or brain, from wandering.
Since I was a teen, I’ve wondered if I might have gay feelings. During sex I fantasise about other men, as well as women.
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A few months ago, I met a woman in the pub. She was 45 with a knockout figure.
After we’d chatted for a while, she made it clear she wanted me to go back to hers for sex. The thought of it was so thrilling that I couldn’t say no.
She was so experienced and really knew how to turn me on, in a way my partner doesn’t. We ended up having a brief affair. I called time on it when I felt too guilty about cheating.
But since then, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about sex with her. I’ve become increasingly frustrated at home and feel I need to chase another sexual thrill.
There’s a gay guy at work who has hinted he’s interested. I’m tempted to ask him out for a drink to see what happens.
Maybe if I have sex with him, I’ll finally get this need to stray out of my system. And I’ll find out if I am bisexual.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You ended one affair because you felt guilty, but are now contemplating another.
You are behaving selfishly and immaturely. It’s not fair on your partner.
If you are unsatisfied at home or confused about your sexuality, you need to address these issues rather than chase sexual thrills.
There’s nothing wrong with fantasising about other people. Actually having sex with them is another matter.
Decide if you love your partner and, if you do, work on your relationship and sex life together.
My support pack, Looking After Your Relationship, should help. If you suspect you may be bisexual, talk this through with someone who understands.
You’ll find more advice in my Bisexual Questions support pack.