I’m falling for my son’s best friend – the sex is out of this world but I fear that will ruin our relationship
DEAR DEIDRE: I’M having sex with my son’s best friend and am falling hard for him – I think I want us to have a future together.
After being single for three years, I couldn’t resist him when he started flirting with me.
We fell into my bed and had a very energetic encounter.
That was seven months ago and we both said we wanted to keep it casual.
But now my son, who is 22, is due back from his gap year and I can’t face calling it off.
I am 43 and divorced from my son’s dad.
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When my son left to travel around Central and South America last winter, his best mate called in one evening to check on me.
I’ve known him his whole life and, as well as thinking he was turning into a lovely adult, always secretly admired his very athletic physique.
That night we chatted and he offered to help me with some DIY around the house — we agreed he’d return the next day to help me install a new door.
We were working closely together and I felt myself getting pretty flustered.
He was due to go out that evening so asked if he could have a shower at mine.
When he came out of the bathroom, with just a towel around his waist, I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
He slid his arms around my waist and took me to my bedroom where we made love on my bed.
I felt so desired and young again and the sex was out of this world. He now stays most nights at mine.
I feel so sad at the thought we won’t be together once my son is home but the alternative seems unthinkable.
Should I walk away? Or risk my relationship with my son?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Relationships with big age-gaps can work but this young man is just setting out in the world and you are at such different life stages.
Things may be fine for a while but what would you do if he decided he wanted a family?
First, you need to ask your young lover how he feels.
After all, he might see this as no more than a fling while his friend is away.
You’re flattered by the attention but ask yourself if you can really see a long-term relationship?
Would you really be prepared to sacrifice a great relationship with your son for this young man?
Read my support pack With A Younger Man? to help you look at this realistically.
If your young lover is serious about you, honesty will be the best policy with your son – but do be prepared for him to need plenty of time to come around.
