I still fancy my husband but sex is becoming difficult

DEAR DEIDRE: ALTHOUGH I still fancy my husband, my libido has done a disappearing act.

When he kisses me, I can’t get aroused and my lady parts feel as dry as a desert.

It’s getting me down and it’s affecting our relationship.

I’m 58 and my husband is 60. We’ve been married for 30 years.

Sex has always been a big part of our relationship and I miss the intimacy we shared. But now even cuddling makes me anxious because I feel zero lust.

I want to feel the aching passion I used to experience when he kissed me.

When we try to have sex now, it’s painful, which upsets both of us. He’s virtually stopped trying because he doesn’t want to hurt me.

I don’t initiate sex any more because I know it will lead to disappointment and pain.

The doctor gave me a hormonal pessary, but it didn’t do anything.
I also suffer from hot sweats and moodiness, even though it’s been years since my menopause.

Do I have to accept our sex life is over?

DEIDRE SAYS:  When your mind is willing, but your body won’t play along, it can be very distressing.

Ask your GP about HRT. You may need more than a pessary.

Hormonal patches or gels can restore libido.

My Menopause support pack has more information.
In the meantime, keep being affectionate.

Pictures posed by models.