Deciding what to do with my wife’s ashes is tearing me apart
DEAR DEIDRE: DECIDING what to do with my wife’s ashes has been a mental struggle.
Every time I think about letting them go I feel like I’m losing her all over again.
My children are intent on spreading them, but I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready to say goodbye.
I’m 62 and my wife was 59.
She died a year ago after a long battle with breast cancer.
While her death didn’t come as a surprise, it knocked me for six and I’ve been struggling ever since.
Most days my grief is overwhelming, and I find it difficult to get out of bed in the mornings. The only thing that has been any comfort is knowing that she’s near.
Any time I feel low, being able to hold her and talk to her has helped me get through.
The only trouble is, my children have been insisting that they would like to spread her ashes in the cemetery, so they have a place to go when they miss her.
I know that my children are grieving as well, but I’m finding this so hard and don’t know what to do for the best.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I am sorry to hear about the loss of your wife.
Grief is a very personal journey, and for many people, keeping ashes in your home can be a very meaningful way to still feel connected to a loved one.
I’m sure your family would understand if you told them.
Perhaps you could even meet in the middle and let them spread a small amount instead.
I’m sending you my support pack Coping With Bereavement. This contains lots of information and resources to help you.
