I’m married but am hooked on secret sex with my female best friend
DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been having sex with my best friend for 15 years even though I’m married and she’s engaged.
She can’t give me up because she says I’m so good in bed and I can’t because I’m secretly in love with her.
We met at university and shared a house. We’d go out on big nights, get drunk and end up sharing the bed together. She was 19 and I was 18.
Our friendship turned sexual after another friend’s birthday party.
We got back to our house and had a few drinks but this time, my friend started flirting with me. That night we shared my bed and passionate sex.
We were always close and although I’m not a good-looking guy, afterwards she said I was the best she’d ever had in bed.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the Facebook page.
Apparently I did things to her no other man ever had.
I wasn’t hugely experienced but I’d read a few books on sex and followed the way she directed my hands over her body.
From then on, this was our thing - our private and secret connection.
When she’d bring guys back to our house, I had to pretend we were purely friends so that they’d feel comfortable around me.
She’s now engaged to a rich guy who she’s marrying for money. I found somebody too - my first-ever girlfriend. We married three years ago. I’m 33 now and she’s 34.
I love my best friend, though. We meet up for sex all the time when she’s “visiting her mother”, as she tells her fiancé.
After my wedding, I lasted three months before I was back sexting her and planning another hook-up.
She’s like a drug to me. Help.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You’re skating on thin ice. You stand to lose your wife if you get caught.
You have great sex together but if friends with benefits is all it ever is, why are you risking everything for short moments of passion?
If you are both happy in your relationships, why risk rocking your world?
The best relationships come out of friendships, though. While cheating isn’t the answer, perhaps the love of your life has been under your nose all along.
Have a heart-to-heart with your friend and tell her exactly how you really feel.
If you think more of your lover than your wife, it is time to sort this out once and for all. If you don’t, then do the right thing and end your affair immediately.
