Since my brother died his wife has been nothing but nasty to me
DEAR DEIDRE: NOW my brother has died, his wife’s really shown how nasty she is.
I could never stand my sister-in-law. But she had him cremated without giving me the opportunity to be there.
He was 51, and I’m a 58-year-old woman. We were close growing up.
I’ve never married but my brother tied the knot in his early thirties, and I put his heavy drinking then subsequent alcoholism down to my nasty sister-in-law.
She always had a problem with drink and they met in his local pub.
I lost touch with them after she embarrassed me at a family barbecue and I told my brother that our relationship was over.
Now I’ve found out through a friend that he passed away. He always told me he wanted people to have a party when he died.
I understand she had a simple cremation for him with nobody in attendance. I’m so upset.
How can I find out where his ashes are?
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the Facebook page.
DEIDRE SAYS: I am sorry that you weren’t able to say goodbye to your brother. My support pack on bereavement will show you where to find support.
To find his ashes, contact the officials at the crematorium, if you know which one it was, to see whether you can trace the funeral director.
If not, you may have more luck tracing his ashes through Deceased Online ().