My grandson told his mother he doesn’t want me to look after him – I’m hurt
DEAR DEIDRE: MY grandson has told his mother that he doesn’t want me to look after him, and that he even hid under the stairs to get away from me.
I’m really confused and hurt. He always seems so happy when he’s with me.
I’m a 65-year-old retired widower and my grandson is eight. My daughter-in-law is 35. She has mental health problems and she and my son split up five years ago.
Since then, my son has had custody of his boy. His mum sees him on alternate weekends and I help out with childcare as much as I can.
Three times a week, I pick him up from school and he stays with me until my son comes home from work.
We always have a lovely time, playing in the garden, eating together and chatting.
He greets me with a huge hug and says he can’t wait to see me again. But now I’ve found out he’s been sending his mum messages saying he wants her to rescue him from my house.
I gently asked him about this and he denied sending the messages.
How should I handle this?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your grandson is probably feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place. He loves both his mum and dad, and you, and wants to please everyone.
It’s possible his mother is manipulating him because she wants custody. Reassure him that you love him and that you understand he loves his mum too.
My support pack, Worried About Mum And Dad, may help you to talk to him about this.
You should also contact Family Lives (, 0808 800 2222) for advice on parenting and family issues.
