My boyfriend wants to try something new in bed but it hurt – I’m scared to do it
DEAR DEIDRE: I’M worried about looking stuck in my ways but I’m really uncomfortable about trying something different sexually – yet my boyfriend is very keen.
We have been together for just under a year and are talking of moving in together.
We are both 27.
I got the sense early on that he wanted to try anal sex but I wasn’t sure, so put him off.
One day he came out and asked me directly if I would give it a go with him. He said he would take care and I’d find it surprisingly liberating.
We love each other very much so I agreed to try it. But it was just as I feared – painful. I hoped the more we did it the less painful it would become, but it still hurts.
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He is understanding and doesn’t force it to happen if I tell him it’s too much.
How can I ease the pain?
DEIDRE SAYS: You must understand that if you don’t want to do something sexually, you don’t have to.
There are other ways to add excitement to your sex life and I’m sending you my support pack 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex.
But if you do want to try, use a water-based lubricant as oil damages condoms.
Please make sure you wash thoroughly after touching the back passage area, or infection can occur.
And take care to be very gentle as the tissues surrounding the rectum are not elastic or designed for penetration in the way the tissues of the vagina are.
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