My siblings want to put our mum in a home but I’m against the idea

DEAR DEIDRE: MY siblings want to put our mother in a home and I don’t think she’s ready.

My brother and sister live nearby. They are 64 and 61.

I’m their sister and I’m 59 and married but I live 200 miles away from Mum.

My siblings are very good and do her shopping and check in on her but her house is huge and it has no downstairs loo.

Mum is a very sprightly 91 and does the crossword every day.

She walks around her garden but doesn’t go out much apart from that.

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Unfortunately she had a couple of accidents recently which my siblings have had to deal with.

She fell the other day and had to go to hospital.

Now my siblings have said the time has come for Mum to move.

I’ve suggested a stair lift would help but are there any alternatives to keep her in her own home?

DEIDRE SAYS: Yes. It would be best to keep her in her own home for as long as possible, as long as she is safe.

Talk to her doctor and social services and see what care is available locally.

A commode would make a big difference for her.

You can also consider assisted living facilities where your mother could have a smaller flat or apartment with its own front door.

Sometimes there are restaurants available and she may enjoy having company close by.

Talk with Age UK (, 0800 678 1602).

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