I hate my body so much that not even my husband has seen me fully naked
DEAR DEIDRE: I hate my body so much that nobody else has ever seen me properly naked – not even my husband.
I can’t even bear to look at myself in the mirror. Almost every part of me is ugly.
My husband and I have been married for six years and have a four-year-old daughter. I’m 34 and he’s 35.
I’ve always had body issues, but they’ve got a lot worse since she was born.
I can’t stand my wide hips, dimply thighs, blotchy skin, apron belly (with caesarean scar) and saggy breasts.
My nose is too big, my teeth are crooked, my hair is frizzy and my forehead is wrinkly.
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My husband tells me he loves me and that he thinks I’m beautiful, but he doesn’t act like he finds me irresistible. He’s affectionate, but never passionate.
That just adds to my insecurity. It has affected our sex life. I’ve never done it with the light on.
And when we’re doing it, I’m concentrating so hard on holding in my belly, and making sure he doesn’t grab me by my wobbly bits, that I can’t get lost in the moment.
We’re going on holiday soon and I’m absolutely dreading it because I know I’ll have to wear a swimming costume – there’s no way I’d wear a bikini.
My friends tell me no normal woman has a perfect body, and I should try to enjoy my life and stop worrying. It’s easy for them to say.
Please help.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Most people have insecurities and hang-ups about their bodies.
Other people tend to see the whole person and not notice our flaws.
Your dissatisfaction with your body is stopping you from enjoying your life and relationship.
My support pack, Raising Self Esteem, may help, but I think you may need professional support from a counsellor specialising in body dysmorphia.
Please talk to your GP and be honest about how you feel. My support pack on counselling tells you more about this process.
Contact the Body Dysmorphic Disorder Foundation () for more advice.
