My husband loved the idea of me kissing a friend – and the reason is surprising
DEAR DEIDRE: I KISSED one of my female friends for fun, and turns out my husband loved it.
It was as if a fire had sparked within him.
At the time I didn’t think twice about it, but after some reflection, I’m starting to wonder if there’s more to his excitement than I originally thought.
I’m 45, my husband is 50 and we’ve been married for 20 years.
Our relationship has always been great but I can’t say we’ve ever been too explorative in the bedroom.
I’ve never really minded, but something shifted in me around two weeks ago when I was on a girls’ night out.
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It all happened so fast, but I found myself drawn to my friend. Over the course of the night, we got closer and closer until we ended up sharing some passionate kisses.
We never spoke about it again, but ever since it’s been playing on my mind.
I wasn’t sure if I should tell my husband, but I figured it would be better to be honest.
To my surprise when I broke the news it was as if he had just heard he won the lottery. He was overcome with excitement and we ended up having mind-blowing sex.
I didn’t read too much into it, but over the last few days, I’ve been starting to wonder.
I’ve always had my suspicions that he and my friend may be attracted to each other.
A few years ago I had observed them acting cagey, and it was around the same time that my husband became really “busy” with work.
I can’t help but worry that perhaps they were actually having an affair.
Could this be why he got so excited?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: There’s no way to know exactly what happened unless you speak to your husband. Speculating will only cause you more pain.
Find a moment to speak honestly and calmly with your husband about your suspicions.
My support pack Man Cheating On You? can help you approach this conversation and find the right words to say.
While it could be likely that you are wrong, if it turns out that your suspicions are correct you’ll need to take some steps together to rebuild the trust in your relationship.
My support packs, Cheating, Can You Get Over It? and Relationship MOT, will help and think about having couples’ counselling too.
