I’m heartbroken that my daughter has cut me and my wife out of her life
DEAR DEIDRE: I AM heartbroken that my daughter has decided to cut me and my wife out of her life.
The worst part is that I don’t even know what we did wrong. Every time I try to mend things she won’t even give me the decency of a response.
I’m 78, my wife is 74 and our only daughter is 45. The last time we saw her, about five months ago, we were on a family road trip around Italy together.
Everything was going swimmingly until one of the last days when a huge argument erupted between us.
We had planned to take a detour to see a spot that she had wanted to visit, but on the way my wife started to feel sick.
It required a bit of walking, and I knew she wasn’t up to it. I tried to explain this to my daughter but she wasn’t having it.
She started shouting and said that we didn’t care about what she wanted. We spent the rest of the trip in silence.
Ever since we got back she hasn’t spoken to us. I’ve tried to reach out to bury the hatchet but she refuses to bridge the gap.
How can I fix this?
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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry to hear about the distress this is causing you.
While her reaction may seem over the top, is it possible that it could be something much deeper that’s troubling her?
If you’ve tried to offer her an olive branch but she hasn’t answered then perhaps it could be worth writing to her.
In your letter, tell her that you love her, miss her and want to hear her side.
If she refuses, then there may not be much more you can do.
You may find it helpful to take a look at Stand Alone (). This supports people estranged from family members.
