I love my girlfriend but no matter what I do I can’t orgasm during sex
DEAR DEIDRE: DESPITE being in a wonderful relationship, no matter what I do I can’t climax during sex.
The only time I can ever reach an orgasm is when I use my hand.
While I know my girlfriend understands I can’t help it, I’m starting to worry it’s taking a toll on our relationship.
I’m 35, she’s 32 and we’ve been together for three months. Until we got together I was single for years, and for the majority of that time, I didn’t see anyone.
Our relationship has been amazing, but ever since the first time we had sex, I’ve struggled.
While getting and maintaining an erection has never been an issue, reaching an orgasm has felt like an impossible task.
We’ve tried everything – different positions, techniques, and even sex toys. Nothing seems to work.
I feel so guilty that she can’t satisfy me. She says she doesn’t mind but I can’t help but think it’s getting her down.
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DEIDRE SAYS: There are a number of reasons why this is happening. It could be the anxiety of sleeping with your girlfriend after years of being single is having a physical effect.
Try to take the pressure off achieving orgasm for now and focus on kissing and caressing.
With less focus on climaxing over time, you may find that it gets easier.
My support pack Man Who Can’t Climax has some useful steps to follow.
