I found Viagra in my husband’s car and it’s made me suspicious

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M a new bride who has yet to consummate our marriage – so why did I find Viagra in my husband’s car?

I’ve been married for four months and my husband and I are both 42. He’s divorced and he’s my first long-term relationship.

We never had sex because he has arthritis in his back after a cycling accident 15 years ago.

His consultant was concerned he’d never walk again. He recovered despite his injuries but it left him in constant pain.

We’ve never had sex since we met 18 months ago. We’ve done sexual stuff but never had intercourse.

Our honeymoon was romantic in Venice but, still, he told me he wasn’t up to sex.

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I had to get a new tyre on his car recently and the mechanic asked me for a locking nut to get the wheel off.

I opened the glove compartment and out fell some Viagra.
I’d never even seen Viagra before.

I don’t know what to do. Could he be cheating on me?

I just feel so rejected by him.

DEIDRE SAYS: You don’t have any proof he’s cheating. He may find sex difficult due to the pain.

Perhaps he’s concerned he couldn’t get an erection and has performance anxiety?

The Viagra may have been something that he wanted to use to see whether he could get an erection good enough for sex.

You need to talk to him about how you found these tablets, in all innocence.

He may be able to reassure you.

Explain to him that you love him and, whatever the issues are, you’ll work on this as a team.

If he can’t physically have sex, there are other sexual things you can both do for one another.

My Couples Massage support pack may give you some tips on where to start.

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